Frequently Asked Questions of a Successful Schizophrenic
Do you consider yourself mentally ill?
No. I consider myself mentally “different.” The experiences I have are immediately de-valued when someone calls me mentally ill. The only reason I ever utilizing terminology pertaining to mental illness is to shock someone who still believes in the dismal disability of mental illness into knowing that “the mentally ill” can survive and thrive just as much as everyone else, the “normal” people. The other reason I take on a diagnosis is to help empower with hope and possibility another individual still suffering who believes the all-encompassing-ness of the diagnosis, or will not acknowledge their own experience in a healthy productive manner simply because they get hung up on having a diagnosis (in some peoples eyes).
What is/are your current diagnosis?
Paranoid Schizophrenia. Alcoholic/addict. OCD.; I get depressed still but having dealt with Major Depression (and various other diagnosis) as a teenager I feel comfortable enough experiencing that without validating it’s disabling power.
Do you still use drugs?
No. I’ve been sober since October 23, 2004.
What are some symptoms you currently still experience?
Intrusive thoughts. Compulsive ideas. Paranoid delusions (sometimes of grandeur). I get dizzy when I take elevators. A whole host of awkward and odd thoughts attempting to be beliefs that other individuals without my though pattern wouldn't even have to worry about considering.
Do you have any coping strategies that you utilize on a consistent basis?
Sobriety. Sobriety is a huge one. My father once commented on sobriety that he prefers being “drug-free” because he has more control over himself. I completely relate with that. With a though pattern that is already of its own I cannot afford to lose more influence over myself by taking a drug that would set my mind a riot.
Some more consistent coping strategy’s are reality-check, meditation, awareness of my prior experience, and what I like to call “fencing.”
Reality Check isn’t vocally asking someone around me “what’s really going on.” It equates to the old saying “everything I ever needed to know I learned in first grade.” I basically, aside from anything I may be thinking, remind myself what the majority of the worlds population believes about reality: gravity, everyone’s their own separate organism, most people (or at least the people I know) aren’t involved with any conspiracies about anything involving anything. Everyone is just doing their own normal everyday thing.
Meditation is really, for me, just separating myself from anything my mind may be thinking, weather the thoughts originate from me or not, and just experiencing my physical experience.
Awareness of my prior experience is basically admitting, wholeheartedly, that I experience an awkward, knavish though process, admitting this is the way my mind functions, and through this process I can truly live past my symptoms. By admitting that this is the way my mind works, separating myself from it enough so that it is in no way my fault, but knowing that it happens, I can overcome any delusive thinking. Basically this comes down to accepting my diagnosis happens, I can overcome my diagnosis. Without doing this my diagnosis would always slyly control me. Being aware of prior experience (or diagnosis) allows me the only battleground I could ever have with my symptoms.
Fencing is the fun one. I basically, whatever my mind is thinking, out-think my mind by logic. I always picture the process as two Spanish, 14th century sword fighters dueling in a lords manor. (has anyone seen The Princess Bride?) Whatever my mind thinks, no matter how believable or unbelievable it may seem, I simply combat the thoughts with strict logic. It’s a very fun process and I’d recommend anyone tell their instinctual though process “you assume too much!”
Thank You
matthew. 25